I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
