Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize