i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Send help, water and tortillas.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
