wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
