ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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