Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
