if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
