we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
