i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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