I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
