his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize