absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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