when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize