you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
