Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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