what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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