UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize