thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A+ Viking dick
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
