I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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