i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
