why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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