Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize