You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
