Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
