I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
what day is it and did you see me today?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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