There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
