? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
