no. you can't hotbox the world.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
