do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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