yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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