Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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