i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
