Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
