I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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