You really coming over, don't trick.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
