dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
