I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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