my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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