I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
