You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
