woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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