I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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