I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
