I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
