God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
