she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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