Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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