she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
