I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We named our party play list daddy issues
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
