My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
