I hate your face
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
4 words: hood of his car
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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