I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
