I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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