So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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