I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
