i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
