Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
