You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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