okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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