im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize