Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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