I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
