I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You may now shotgun with the bride
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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