Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
