farters have to be the big spoon...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i believe in u and ur pee
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