dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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