You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
