you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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