I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
