...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
