i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
