It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
