Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
